Arcticless decoupaged coffee table

Antarctic top and bottom.
Antarctic top and bottom.


Where’s the complaints department! I got this very heavy plain pine coffee table from the charity shop and decided to paint it up. I wanted something rather ornate, but which could be changed in future. I painted the sides and underneath with ASCP in Old Linen. Everything fine. I then chose some fabric by Prestigious Fabrics which had a map on. Everything fine. My first artistic dilemma was whether to cut the US and Canada in half or lose New Zealand in order to make it fit. I am afraid New Zealand got the chop because that meant I didn’t have to cut any country in half. It was then that I noticed that I couldn’t see the Arctic anywhere.  I could see the Antarctic, but nothing at the top, only the words, Arctic Ocean, then straight from Greenland up to a pattern repeat of the Antarctic.

Outraged I complained to the manufacturers! How dare they leave out the Arctic! Didn’t they know their geography? Sorry if being accurate meant leaving in boring bits, but a world without the Arctic was like a fireman without his engine.

Back came the sniffy reply. The Antarctic is there because it is a landmass, the Arctic is an Ocean.

Hmmmm…..I felt sure that when I was a child they always had the Arctic in white at the top and the Antarctic in white at the bottom. All my life I had a visual image of the globe in this way. Alas, it dawned on my that I was looking at a geological map…………and my childhood memory is apparently wrong.

I just don’t know what the world is coming to.

Rather crushed by the fact I have lived 60 odd years with no sense of geography (despite having had the benefit of a Grammar School education, one of the best you could get ) I mournfully pasted the fabric on with PVA glue. I have put some glass on, hence the rather poor pics I am afraid, and have yet to wax it and finish it completely.

How depressing. The Arctic has no bottom to it!  I stand corrected. I just goes to show you never stop learning.

The most expensive part of this was the glass. My God, its expensive. China doesn’t seem to export it here..yet.

Can someone cheer me up please?







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